I Will Follow You Into The Dark
by peytonscott87
Summary: They have been separated for years now and have both been going through their own tragedies, but what happens when Peyton Sawyer returns to Tree Hill bearing bad news, what will Lucas do when he for the first time cannot save her. LP/BP/NH centric
1. Coming To Terms

**Okay so I know i already have one going but I had this idea and I couldn't get it out of my head so I decided to try it out. Let me know if you like it/want me to continue so please press the green button at the bottom and give me a review **

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**Coming to Terms**

She hung up the phone in complete shock at what she had just heard. The word kept ringing in her ear; the word that she had feared would come up because there was no other logical explanation for the way she had been feeling lately. Peyton sat down in a chair in her living room of her small LA apartment and tried to soak in everything the doctor had just told her but it wasn't working. She couldn't believe this was happening to her when she was just on the brink of getting promoted to an A and R rep for the record company she worked for. Her dream of bringing great-unheard music to the world was so close and now it was probably not going to come true. She thought about all the things she had given up to pursue this dream, she had left home at 18 and moved to LA leaving her entire world behind, but the real sacrifice the one she thought about most and often regretted was losing him, the love of her life and her one true love, Lucas Scott. She suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe and the worst part was that she had no one to call to comfort her. When she first moved to LA she kept in touch with everyone but slowly they all grew apart and she was wishing she never let that happen right now especially wishing that she and Brooke had kept in touch. The only time she would see her now was on the cover of B Davis magazine, the magazine for her very successful clothing company Clothes Over Bros that Peyton had watched her create back in high school. Peyton would always pick up a copy of the magazine when she saw it, she had a few dozen of them sitting on her mantle right now, it made her feel close to Brooke even though she hadn't talked to her in months.

And then there was him, she tried her best not to think about him usually but today there was no stopping it, there was no hiding that she was still in love with him and wished he were here with her to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay. But he wasn't, he was still back in Tree Hill so far away from her. She thought about the night that he came to LA to visit her after winning his first college championship as a coach. She thought about how selfish she was that night when he asked her to marry him and she said "someday", she was not one to have regrets she thought things happened for a reason, but not saying yes to Lucas was one regret she had. He left the next day and she knew they were over; her heart broke that day and never fully healed. She tried to fill his place over the years but no one ever came close she always found herself comparing them to Lucas and since no one would ever measure up they would never get very far. There was one way that she still felt connected to him, through the book he had wrote, the book he had written about her and their love. She had over a dozen copies of it, as she was not able to walk away when she saw one, but there was one that was special the very first one she owned. He had sent it to her in the mail, it was after they had broken up and there was no note attached but she didn't care it still made her feel attached to him in some way and this was the copy that she read over and over underlining and making notes in to the point where the pages were worn and you could hardly read the words he had written anymore.

She felt the tears coming and decided it was best to stop thinking about him, she had enough to worry about with what she had just heard without adding her broken heart into the mix. She thought about calling her dad for a minute but then realized that he was out of a dredging boat right now and there was no way of getting in contact with him other than email, and she figured this was not something she should tell her father through an email. So she picked up her phone and called the only number that she could think of at the moment. Three rings went through and Peyton began to feel defeated, "I guess I'll have to deal with it alone" she thought but then she heard someone pick up.

"Hello," the raspy voice she recognized so well said

"Brooke?" Peyton said

"Peyton?" she said kind of worried, she hadn't talked to Peyton in a while and she didn't sound well," Wow long time no talk, how are you?"

How are you, usually a simple question but for Peyton it was hard to answer, she didn't want to tell Brooke over the phone but knew she had no other choice since she was far to busy with the company to come visit or to have Peyton come visit her. When she didn't answer Brooke began to get more worried.

"Peyton what's wrong?" she asked

It was amazing that even though they hadn't spoken much since high school but Brooke still knew her better than anyone

"Its nothing," she said starting to have second thoughts about telling her like this

"Peyton it's obviously not nothing you are crying, please just tell me what is wrong, I am worried,"

Peyton had hoped that Brooke wouldn't pick up on the fact that she was crying, she was trying to hold it back because she didn't want to seem weak, especially not to Brooke who was one of the strongest people she knew.

"Okay, I just got some news," she started slowly," I have cancer Brooke."

Brooke went silent, she felt that the walls were caving in around her she didn't want to believe that what she had just heard was true. It wasn't long before the tears came flowing and she stifled back a sob trying to not let Peyton hear, she didn't want to make things worse for her, she needed to be strong. But all she could think of was that word, the word that scared her "cancer" but it was all she could think of in that moment. She suddenly felt terrible for allowing them to drift so far apart over the last two years, and even though she hadn't spoken to her much she still considered Peyton her best friend and couldn't imagine life without her there. They had been through so much together and to think that Peyton might not make it was too much for Brooke to take.

"Brooke say something," Peyton said after a few minutes.

"I…Peyton… I can't do this over the phone, I'm coming to see you tonight," she said as she got up and started making her way toward the door, there was no time to pack she would just buy what she needed when she got there, she grabbed her keys and was out the door before Peyton could respond.

"Brooke no, your to busy, its okay I will be fine you don't have to fly across the country to see me tonight," Peyton said feeling embarrassed that she had interrupted Brooke's life.

"Peyton its not okay, you are my best friend and you need someone so I am coming to see you, I refuse to leave you alone through this, I will be there soon just sit tight I'll get the quickest flight I can…I love you P Sawyer,"

"I love you too B Davis," Peyton said before hanging up the phone, it was comforting to use those old nicknames again, she had missed it.

She felt a little better after talking to Brooke well as good as she could feel under the circumstances. And she was actually happy that Brooke was coming to be with her, she really didn't want to be alone right now being alone was actually the last thing she wanted. So she sat there and took out the one thing that always calmed her Lucas's book. She started at the beginning and started to read it for the millionth time, she liked that she knew was going to happen it was nice to have some thing predictable when her life right now was so up in the air.

Brooke was driving like a mad woman to the airport she was weaving through the tight traffic on the high way in down town New York. She just kept thinking that she had to get to Peyton and felt helpless being so far away from her. Victoria was not impressed that she was leaving especially because she was never fond of Peyton but Brooke didn't care there was nothing that was going to stop her from getting to Peyton tonight. Finally she made it to the airport and got a ticket for the next flight to LA, there was and hours wait though so she took a seat in the waiting area. She thought about calling Haley and telling her but then decided against it not knowing if Peyton wanted anyone to know or if she wanted to tell people herself. She just wanted someone else to know so she could talk about it with them, so she could talk about her worry's something she would not be able to say to Peyton since she didn't want to scare her anymore than she was already. As she sat there she started thinking about all the times Peyton had helped her in the past even when she sometimes didn't deserve it. Like when Peyton signed over her artwork for clothes over bro's when she was still freezing Peyton out over Lucas. She then thought about all the times that Peyton had helped her with Lucas like when she had slept with Chris Keller and Peyton talked to Lucas for her. Even though Peyton was clearly in love with him she stepped aside and it stayed that way until Peyton knew for sure that Brooke no longer had feelings for Lucas. She remembered clearly the day of the school shooting where Peyton had been shot and Lucas saved her, she remembered how she selfishly felt jealous that he ran into the school for her, and how she didn't even call Peyton once after to make sure she was okay, she was ashamed of herself for that and even more for the way that Peyton comforted her later explaining that she wasn't going to hurt her with Lucas. After all the things Peyton did for her it hurt Brooke to know that she wasn't able to do anything for her now, all she could do as comfort her and wait to hear more news and she felt helpless. Soon her flight number was called and she headed onto the plane, it was only a four hour flight and it went by very fast before she knew it she was walking out of LAX and hailing a cab.

It was about a half hour drive to Peyton's apartment, she had only been there once and didn't know the address so she had to go off of memory but with the help of the cab driver they found it. She got out and tipped the driver before running up the steps and ringing the buzzer. Peyton was asleep when Brooke arrived, she had fallen asleep in her chair with Lucas's book on her chest but she awoke when she heard the buzzer. She was confused, there was no way that could be Brooke so fast but she got up and pressed the buzzer allowing the door to open down stairs. Brooke ran up the stairs as fast as she could but quickly wished that she hadn't worn her heels, they were not making it easy. But she eventually made it upstairs, found the door that was Peyton's and knocked lightly on it. Peyton got up and wrapped her self in a blanket checking her appearance in the mirror before she opened the door. She looked like a mess, she was pale and had makeup smeared down her face from crying, she tried to wipe it off but it was to no avail so she decided to just open the door which she did. She wasn't expecting to see Brooke there so soon, "she wasn't kidding when she said she was going to get the first flight she could get," Peyton thought.

When the door opened Brooke immediately pulled Peyton into a long hug before pulling back to survey her. She really didn't look well, her eyes were red and puffy and her mascara was running down her face. She stepped inside and closed the door before giving her another hug this time giving in and crying herself, she couldn't help it seeing her best friend like this was unbearable. Peyton felt a lot better now that someone was here with her until she saw Brooke crying when they pulled apart.

"Brooke no, don't cry its okay," Peyton said trying to calm her down

"Peyton how can you say that," Brooke said not even trying to hold back the tears anymore.

"Well hunny there is no sense in wallowing over it right now, there is nothing I can do, I just need to wait to hear more news," Peyton said trying to put on brave face," It may not be as bad as you think, they haven't finished all the tests yet. I would have told you that if you would have let me finish before you ran out of your apartment, then you wouldn't have had to fly all the way here."

Brooke was shocked at how well she was handling this, Peyton was handling it better than she was for gods sake but she knew it was all just a front Peyton always had a hard time letting people comfort her it was one of her flaws. Brooke was a little upset that Peyton didn't assume right away that she would come straight to LA but then she thought about it and the fact that they hadn't kept in touch lately. But Peyton had to know that she was still the most important person in her life right? If not Brooke was going to make her realize that now.

"Peyton I would have come anyways, I wont have you going through this alone there is no way that is going to happen," Brooke said as she took Peyton's hand and led her to the couch and they sat down," And you don't have to fake a smile for me Peyton, I know you must be terrified."

Peyton knew she was right, there was no point faking that she wasn't worried, Brooke was already here and was obviously not going anywhere so she gave in and started crying. Brooke pulled her close again and that made her feel a bit better but she pulled away after a while and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"How long have you known," Brooke asked

"Well I had a suspicion for a while, but I only found out about an hour before I called you," she replied.

"Well I'm glad you called me right away, what do you mean you had a suspicion?"

"I have been having some pain for a about a month now but I just assumed it would go away until one night I was at work in my office and I got a crippling pain that was so intense that I fell to the floor. So after that I decided that I had to go to the doctor, it as about a week ago and he asked if there was any history of cancer in my family and then it clued into me and I had a strong feeling that's what it was,"

"Why didn't you tell me when you first suspected it," Brooke said feeling more tears forming just thinking about her best friend going through all of this alone.

"I didn't want to bother you with it Brooke, I mean you are so busy," Peyton said

"Peyton," she turned away," No look at me, I don't want you to ever think I am to busy that you can't come to me, I'm your best friend that's what I am here for. It just kills me that I wasn't able to help you through this."

"Well you're here now," she said trying to fake a smile though it wasn't working well.

"Your damn right, and I'm not going anywhere, your stuck with me fake blondie," she said trying to make a joke to lighten the mood.

Peyton was just happy to have someone there, she had been keeping this a secret for so long and dealing with it alone and it felt good to have someone else know about it. Brooke saw that she looked tired so she lead her into her room and tucked her into her bed, she turned to walk away but heard Peyton say something so she turned around.

"Brooke will you stay in here with me, I just want to feel safe for a night you know," Peyton said

That brought Brooke back to the weeks after her and Peyton were attacked on prom night and how they did everything together because they were afraid of being alone.

"Sure," she said," Can I borrow something too sleep in, I ran out so fast I didn't pack anything,"

Peyton laughed and nodded pointing to the dresser that was across the room. Brooke went into the top drawer and found a clothes over bro's tank top and a pair of PJ pants, she smiled at the fact that Peyton was buying her clothes when all she had to do was ask and she could have had them for free.

"Well I have to say I like your style," Brooke laughed as she held up the top.

"Ya well I love the designer," Peyton replied

"Well she loves you too,"

Brooke went and changed and came back in the room turning off the light and climbing in next to Peyton. It was the first night in weeks that Peyton had felt safe and soon enough they were both fast asleep.


	2. I Still Remember

**Okay first off thank your for the review on the last chapter, and I promise it won't stay so sad the whole time. Now this the last chapter was explaining Peyton's story and this one is explaining Lucas's. They have both been going through things and this one shows how Lucas has been dealing with his problems. I hope you enjoy and please continue with the reviews so press the little green button :)**

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**I Still Remember**

He just sat there in is room wondering how his life had come to this. Only a few months ago he had it all, a great job, a best selling novel and a girlfriend he loved very much but just like that it was all gone. He got up and went to the fridge that contained nothing but beer and week old pizza at this point. He grabbed three beers and headed back to the room sighing as he remembered how well Lindsey kept the fridge stocked when she was here, his life had really fallen apart since she had left. It was his fault and he knew it, which made it even harder to face the world outside his bedroom so he didn't, except for when he ran out of beer.

He lay back down grabbing the picture of him and Lindsey from the nightstand and he sighed again, he couldn't believe he let a girl like her slip away. But at that he couldn't help but think that there was another girl he had let slip away years ago but the shadow of her never really left his side. Sometimes he hated her for it, Peyton was the one who turned down his proposal she walked away and he was still angry with her for it. But then he would really think about it and realize that he was in the wrong the whole time. He ambushed her with the proposal that was basically an ultimatum to either come back to Tree Hill with him or they were done, when she said she wasn't ready he walked away something that he would never forgive himself for. He tried to move on and thought he was doing a good job with Lindsey, she was a great girl and he loved her, but his heart was never awakened the way it was from just being in the same room as Peyton. Lindsey was his editor for Unkindness of Ravens and she knew about his history with Peyton and he could tell she was jealous of it. He found over the last year of their relationship he was spending a lot of time trying to make Lindsey believe he was really over Peyton and that he was only in love with her. A story that was eerily similar to one from his teenage years with Brooke, and well if you had read Ravens you know how that one turns out. Even though he loved Lindsey he still felt the shadow of Peyton looming over him like every time he would see a girl with blonde curly hair in passing his heart would race. Or he would sometimes go visit her father just to get another glimpse of her Mercury Comet that she had left behind when she moved to LA that car had so much symbolic meaning when it came to their relationship. It was the reason they spoke for the first time, and she had almost run him over in it once, he smiled when he thought of the look on her face that night as she motioned for him to get the hell out of the middle of the road, that face was seared into his memory forever.

One day Lindsey came home and found him laying in bed with his book listening to The Cure. She knew that he hated The Cure and that Disintegration was Peyton's favorite record, that was the day she noticed him slipping away. The last straw came when she found a ring tucked away in his sock drawer, at first she was excited at the thought of Lucas proposing but when months went by and he never did she began to get upset. So one night she brought it up to him and he was at a loss for words but he didn't have it in his heart to give her that ring. That was the ring that Peyton was supposed to wear and he vowed that it would never touch anyone else's finger. That was the night she left him, as she left she pointed to a copy of his book that was laying on the desk, the caption on the front read "its an epic love story" and as she walked out the door she said "its and epic love story Luke, its just not ours," and he couldn't deny it so he just let her go.

The last couple months had been tough, being alone meant no distraction so he was left to think about Peyton all day long and it was killing him. So he took to drinking instead, he would spend his nights at Tric doing shot after shot of whatever the bartender would pour him, it was the only way he could escape her memory. Eventually he would pass out and someone would cart him home where he would sleep it off only to start over again the next day. Things got worse when he lost his job coaching the Ravens for snapping at a ref for a bad call and grabbing a loud mouth kid on the other team by the front of his jersey, if Nathan hadn't pulled him away who knows what would have happened. So now he never left the house, he just sat there drinking and trying not to remember.

It was a Wednesday afternoon when Lucas heard a banging on the door, he groaned and looked at the clock, his head was pounding and he wondered who the hell it was. Then Haley walked through the door with a look of disgust at the state he was living in.

"Hey boozy," she said

"Don't lecture me Haley," he replied clearly not in the mood

"Lucas we are all just really worried about you, you don't even leave your house anymore," she said not hiding her concern

He sat up slowing adjusting to the light before he spoke again

"Is okay Hales, I'm just trying to deal with Lindsey leaving," he lied

Haley raised her eyebrow at him and he realized there was no point lying to her. Haley knew there was only one girl that had ever been able to make Lucas this miserable and that girl was Peyton Sawyer.

"So you miss her huh?" she said not needing to say her name

"Ya," he paused for a minute," But its more than that, I'm angry that she is following me and I'm angry that I can't let her go,"

He clenched his fist and slammed it into the pillow. Haley jumped and was shocked at how angry he had become, this was not the kind-hearted boy she once knew he was different now.

"Luke I know it hurts but living like this," she pointed around at the mess everywhere in the room," Its not going to help, its just making things worse.

"No its not Haley, its making things better because when I drink I can forget and that's all I want to do right now," he said sternly

"Its not healthy Luke," she pleaded

"I'd like you to leave," she was shocked at his tone," Leave!"

"Fine," she said as she walked to the door," But one day you are going to wake up and see that this is all just making you more empty inside."

And with that she slammed the door and was gone. He felt terrible for yelling at her, Haley was his best friend and she was only trying to help him. But right now he didn't want any help he just wanted to escape so he cracked another beer and instantly felt better after a couple of sips, and the routine had started all over again for the day. It was about seven in the evening with Lucas realized that he was out of alcohol, and for him it was far to early for him to be out of alcohol. So he grabbed his coat and stumbled out his back door and down the street in the direction of the nearest liquor store. But when he got to the corner he turned in the opposite direction and started towards a place he had been many times in his life, he was heading to Peyton's. He knew it was a bad idea, the whole point of the drinking was to stop thinking about her but at this point even that wasn't working and he really wanted to see her car again, he wanted to sit in it and feel connected to her it was all he had left of her. When he got there however he saw that Larry's car wasn't there and the Comet was not parked in the driveway, he decided to knock on the door and did after managing to make it up the stairs. But there was no answer so he banged again with still no answer he knew that Larry must be working out of town again, but really wished right now that he still had the spare key she had given him so many years ago. So he reluctantly turned and stumbled back down the stairs and stepped out into the street with his head down. He looked up and saw something coming his way but in his bleary state he didn't react fast enough and that was the last thing he remembered.

Lucas woke up in the hospital and saw that Nathan and Haley were pacing the room looking rather worried. His mouth was dry and he felt terrible but he managed to choke out a few words.

"What happened," he said in his hoarse voice

"Lucas, your awake," Haley said running over to him," good now I can kill you! How could you be so stupid?"

"Haley calm down, He obviously wasn't in his right mind at the time, and he's okay so there is no use yelling at him," Nathan said calmly as he took Haley's hand.

"Well this better be the wake up call you have been waiting for Luke, I can't watch you like this anymore,"

"Okay is someone going to tell me what happened, I can't remember a thing," Lucas said as he looked down and saw his hands were scratched up and his leg was in a cast.

Haley looked at him with a look of disbelief as she sat down in the chair that was next to his bed.

"Luke you went out last night when you were drunk and you stumbled into the street and got hit by a car," she said trying to hold back the tears," You had to have your stomach pumped for gods sake."

At that it was all coming back to him, running out of beer and heading out, going to Peyton's to see the Comet and then walking into the street.

"Okay ya I remember now," Lucas said slowly

"What were you doing out there anyways Luke?" Nathan asked

Lucas thought about telling them for a minute but decided against it. He figured that it would be best to keep his secret obsession with Peyton and her car to himself for as long as he could.

"I just went out for more beer and must have taken a wrong turn or something," he lied.

"Oh and you are expecting me to believe that you ended up on her street by accident?" Haley shot him a look.

"I don't know what you are talking about Haley," Lucas said as he looked away.

"Okay Luke you don't have to talk to us about it, but we are here if you ever want to," Nathan said sincerely," But you do have to stop this, how much more of you does it have to destroy before you smarten up"

He hated to admit it but Nathan was right, he only thought that the drinking was helping but it was made clear last night that he wasn't even able to hide from her in an altered state of being, there was clearly no forgetting Peyton Sawyer.

"I know," he gave in," It's just going to take me a while to get back,"

Haley nodded, she knew it wasn't going to be easy but she was just glad that he was going to stop his self destructive streak and try and salvage what little was left to his life. She got up from her chair and leaned in to give his a hug, which he returned it was nice to have some human contact again he thought.

"Thank God Luke because I didn't know how much more I could take," she said as she let go of him," And remember we are here for you anytime okay, don't hesitate to call."

"Thanks you guys," Lucas said

They said their good byes and left him there alone again. He sat there looking at his broken leg and wondered when they would let him out of the hospital. He then went on to think about the state his house was in, he was going to have a lot of cleaning ahead of him when he got home, which would not be easy on crutches but he had to do it, it was time to wake up from the slumber he had put himself in for the past couple months. A couple days later they finally let him out of the hospital, he was going to have a lot of physio ahead of him because he had really done a number on his leg but he didn't care he was just happy to be out of there. Nathan had picked him up and dropped him off at home so he hobbled up his front steps and unlocked his door and was shocked at what he saw inside. He couldn't believe what he was living in, it was a mess there was garbage everywhere and alcohol bottles scattered over almost every surface of his bedroom. "This is going to take forever," he thought as he started to pick up some of the mess. He thought about what Haley said about this being a wake up call and he couldn't agree with her more at this point so he went to the kitchen and gathered all the alcohol bottles and poured the contents down the sink, it was time to start a different routine.


	3. Come Home

**First off thanks for the feedback on the previous chapters and sorry I took so long to update I was just busy with work over the past couple days. I hope you like this one, everything in italics are flashbacks, please press the little green button and review :)**

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**Come Home**

Brooke was sitting alone in a small diner near Peyton's apartment running the events of the past couple hours through her head. It had been a while since Peyton had gotten the news and Brooke had moved in basically running Clothes Over Bro's from Peyton's tiny living room. Peyton had started treatment but refused to talk to Brooke about it, in her mind she was burdening her enough without adding the details of what she was going through on top of it. But Brooke didn't feel that way at all and it was secretly killing her to watch Peyton changing in front of her eyes but not knowing what was going on with her.

She remembered one day when she came home from shopping only to find Peyton's things thrown on the floor and the bathroom door locked. Brooke was worried and banged on the door but wasn't ready for what was waiting on the other side. Peyton was on the ground with her legs pulled up in front of her clutching them and shaking. The sight broke Brooke's heart but she tried not to cry, breaking down would not help the situation she remembered thinking.

"_Peyton what's wrong?" Brooke asked as she walked a little closer_

"_I just came home and didn't feel well," she started," I got sick and when I started to clean myself up I noticed something."_

_Brooke walked over and sat next to her_

"_What…you can tell me," Brooke said taking Peyton's hand_

"_Its my hair Brooke, a couple strands fell out,"_

Brooke remembered pulling Peyton into a hug and breaking down herself, when Peyton heard her crying she pulled away, picked herself up slowly and said something about how she was fine before locking herself in her room. That was the last time that Peyton talked to Brooke about her cancer, from then on she thought it would be best to keep it to herself.

That's why Brooke was so surprised when Peyton had come to her earlier that day. Brooke had been fighting on the phone with Victoria when Peyton came out of her room so she quickly hung up and motioned for Peyton to sit down. After offering her some breakfast and getting turned down again Brooke sat down defeated. It was then Peyton said that she needed to talk. Brooke shook her head as she remembered how happy she was that Peyton was finally going to let her in, she didn't know at the time what she knew now, that this conversation would change everything.

"_Brooke we need to talk,"_

"_Okay, i'm here," she said focusing all her attention on Peyton_

"_I'm going to stop treatment Brooke,"_

"_Peyton what are you talking about, you cant stop treatment," she said shaking her head_

"_I can and I will," she said," The treatment isn't working, its just making me feel terrible. They say some new experimental drugs may help but I would have to check into a hospital because they don't know the side effects,"_

"_So you'll check in and take the new drugs," Brooke responded feeling slightly angry_

"_No I wont, there is no guarantee that they will work they could even make it worse,"_

"_Peyton if there is a chance that they will help you have to try it, you can't just give up," Brooke said choking back the tears._

"_Its not giving up! Its choosing how I want to spend my last days, and withering away in a hospital bed is not high on my list,"_

"_I can't listen to this, your not going to have any last days not for a long time," she shook her head when Peyton went to respond," No, you said everything was going to be okay and now your giving up! This is not the Peyton I know!"_

"_Well cancer tends to change a person!" Peyton yelled," You cant relate Brooke you don't know."_

"_Well fill me in, I want to know what you are going through, why wont you let me in," Brooke said not attempting to stop crying anymore._

_Peyton got up and walked across the room shaking her head._

"_This is why," she pointed at Brooke," Look what its doing to you and I haven't even told you any of the details of what has been going on."_

"_Peyton I want to know, I want to help you so why wont you let me," Brooke said wiping a tear off her cheek._

"_Because its to hard," she said causing Brooke's tears to become uncontrollable again," And no one or nothing can help me Brooke, they say I have 12 months and I want to spend them doing the things I have always wanted to do but never got the chance."_

_Brooke got up and started towards the door, she couldn't be here right now she couldn't look at Peyton._

"_Your right Peyton, it has changed you, I just never thought it would turn you into such a coward," Brooke said as she opened the door," I wont sit here and watch you give up."_

_And with that she was gone leaving Peyton crying alone in the hallway._

Brooke was woken up from her daydream by her waitress asking her if she wanted anything else and when Brooke shook her head she left the bill and walked away. Brooke didn't know what to do, she couldn't go back to Peyton's it just hurt to much, but she had no where else to go she didn't know anyone else in LA. But then she thought about what Peyton was doing right now, sitting at her apartment all alone and probably terrified, as much as this was killing Brooke she knew that it must have been 20 times worse for Peyton. She was suddenly overcome with a wave of guilt at how she had left things. "I called her a coward," she thought as she shook her head. How could she have said those words to someone who had obviously been through more than her share of tragedies but still kept going, this was a girl who's courage was never wavering. Brooke realized that in her anger she had given off the impression that she was done and that she couldn't take it anymore. No wonder Peyton refused to talk about anything with her, look how she reacted to the first real conversation they had in months. So she got up, paid and started back to the apartment all the while with the words "12 months" ringing in her ears.

Peyton had felt her heart break when Brooke walked out the door, she knew what she had told her couldn't have been easy to hear but it was necessary considering there would be major changes made soon. She walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, she looked thinner than normal due to her lack of appetite and she was far to pale. She hadn't lost as much hair as she expected and if she styled it you could barely tell something she was thankful for. Peyton reached up and touched her face; she looked so tired even though she had been sleeping for the majority of the day. When she felt tears coming she did what she always did when she started to feel down. She walked into her room and climbed in her bed pulling out a notebook from under her pillow she began writing in it.

When Brooke made it home Peyton had already fallen asleep with her book on her chest. Brooke walked into her bedroom opening the door slowly before noticing she was out. She walked over to the bed and pulled the blanket at the foot on the bed over her and noticed the book. Brooke picked it up and flipped it back to the first page, the title across the top read "Life List". "Wow she was serious," Brooke thought as she scanned the list. Number one was "Tell him sorry and explain why" she let out a sigh after reading that one, it was obvious she was talking about Lucas and Brooke knew that Peyton had never really let him go. But it was nice to know that true unchanging love did still exist. She flipped through the pages and saw there was at least 25 more so she climbed in next to Peyton and began to read. Some made her laugh and come made her cry but she loved them all the same. She was so focused on the last page that she didn't notice Peyton wake up and turn to her.

"You came back," Peyton said with her crackly morning voice.

Brooke looked up at her with her eyes filled with tears

"Of course I did," she said," And I do understand Peyton, it hurts me but I understand."

Brooke held up the book and pointed to the last thing on the list that read "make Brooke understand".

"Brooke come here, don't cry it just makes it harder," Peyton said as she put her arm around Brooke.

"I know right, how messed up is this, your sick and I'm the one breaking down all the time," Brooke laughed.

Brooke leaned her head on Peyton's shoulder

"Its going to be okay," Peyton said," But I made some calls and I'm going to be leaving tomorrow."

Brooke sat up so she could face her.

"So I guess you can scratch #2 off your list as well, your going back to Tree Hill right?"

Peyton laughed and nodded.

"Well this is exciting I haven't been home in ages, I should go pack I don't want to have to buy everything new again," Brooke said excitedly.

"Brooke wait, I'm just gong to be living with my dad, you don't have to come with me I'll be alright,"

"You don't want me to come?" Brooke said feeling hurt

"No no Brooke its not that," she said taking her hand," its just you have sacrificed so much for me already and your company needs you, I have heard Victoria yelling."

Brooke smiled and wondered when Peyton would realize that no matter what she wasn't going anywhere. She would rather the company go under than to not spend this time with Peyton.

"Peyton im only going to say this one more time, I want to be here. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else through this, so im not going anywhere. I love you P Sawyer and it's going to take a whole lot more than Bitchtoria to tear me away from you."

Peyton smiled though she would never admit it that was exactly what she wanted Brooke to say.

"I love you too B Davis,"

They hugged again before Brooke got up to go pack, but she turned around before she left the room.

"Besides I wouldn't want to miss you trying every single ice cream flavor known to man," Peyton laughed," That was number 30 right?"

"Well at least I'll have someone there to make sure I don't die of a stomach ache," Peyton said but regretted it when she saw the look that came over Brooke's face," sorry too soon to joke?"

"Too soon," Brook said quietly," I'm gonna go pack I'll see you in the morning.

The next day Brooke and Peyton woke up and made their way to the airport, they checked in and sat down to wait for their flight to be called. Brooke was watching a couple across the room having an embarrassing public fight when she heard Peyton say her name, so she turned to face her.

"What's up," Brooke said

"I need you to do me a favor,"

"Sure Peyton, anything just name it,"

"I don't want you to tell Nathan, Haley or Lucas about anything," she said seriously.

"Peyton… Are you sure that's a good idea, I mean I'm sure they would want to know," Brooke replied.

Peyton stopped to think a minute, she knew it was inevitable that she was going to have to tell everyone but she wanted to do it on her own terms when she was ready.

"I know," she started," I just want to be the one to tell them, and I need to be ready before I do…okay?"

"Okay," Brooke said then heard their flight number get called," Well that's us, we should go,"

They got up and Brooke took Peyton's bag.

"You know I'm not completely useless," Peyton said with a scowl.

"P Sawyer you better get used to it, this is going to be like a vacation for you,"

Peyton just smiled and followed behind her, it made her happy how protective Brooke was over her, it felt nice.

The flight wasn't long, or it seemed short for Peyton anyways since she fell asleep the minute they took off. Brooke on the other hand just sat there staring at Peyton worrying, she knew how hard it would be to let Peyton go and she had no intention on doing it. She knew that when Haley and Nathan found out they would try to convince her to start treatment again. But she knew that the once person who could make Peyton change her mind would be Lucas and since he always had some sort of savior complex when it came to her Brooke knew that he wouldn't rest till he convinced her to fight it. When they landed they took a cab to Tree Hill, Peyton's dad wasn't home yet he would be coming in a couple weeks to spend time with his daughter, so when they reached Peyton's house it was empty. They walked in and threw down their bags taking a minute to breathe in the familiarity of the surroundings before Peyton headed up to her old room with Brooke right behind her.

She opened the door and it was like she stepped into a time warp, nothing had changed from the way she left it 4 years ago. As Peyton walked through the room she was overwhelmed with a string of memories most involving Lucas. Like the first time he told her that he loved her. It was after his heart attack and he told her that he didn't die because he had to come back and tell her that he was in love with her and that he would wait for her. Peyton couldn't think of a time in her life when she was happier than that moment. She walked around the room looking at her drawings and reliving her youth, she passed the one of Jake and Jenny, "People always leave" which made her heart break a little because she missed her mom so much, and finally she passed the infamous best friend love triangle drawing of her Brooke and Lucas, Brooke walked over and stood next to her.

"Feels like a lifetime ago hey," she said with a laugh

"Ya," Peyton laughed," what were we thinking?"

"What was I thinking trying to get in between the two of you?" Brooke said with a smile.

Peyton smiled and walked over to her closet and opened the door.

"He was on the door, he was on the damn door under you," Peyton said as they both laughed.

"It really does sound childish now that I hear it out loud," Brooke confessed with a grin.

Peyton laughed but then another drawing by the closet caught her eye, it was her and Lucas in the bedroom at Nathan's house and he was saying "I have wanted this for so long," and she replied "and now we can have it". She felt the tears coming and did nothing to stop them, no matter how well she had come to grips with her disease and fate it still hurt to know that there was now no chance that they could have "it". Brooke walked over and put her arm around her.

"Peyton," she said sympathetically

"I'm just going to need a minute," she said turning to head to the bathroom," Do you think we could go see Haley and Nathan tomorrow, I'm not feeling up to it right now."

"Sure," Brooke said," Its late anyways and you should get some sleep, please call me if you need my, I'll just me one room over."

"I will," Peyton said as she sat on her bed.

"Okay good night P Sawyer," Brooke gave her a hug and then walked out into the next bedroom.

Peyton changed and crawled in her bed, there was something oddly comforting about sleeping in your childhood bedroom. She allowed herself to be surrounded by her memories of Lucas and she felt safe for the first time in weeks though Lucas had always had that effect on her. She closed her eyes and drifted off into a deep peaceful sleep.


	4. Don't Confess

**Okay so once again sorry for taking so long to update, but I have a week off now so I should be able to get caught up on everything ad update for regularly. So this one is much happier so I hope you enjoy and please continue to review :)**

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**Don't Confess**

Lucas awoke earlier than normal and much to his demise he simply couldn't fall back to sleep, he hadn't had a good nights sleep since the accident mainly due to how uncomfortable his cast was. So he grumbled and grabbed his crutches and made his way into the kitchen where he turned on the coffee pot, picked up the paper and sat at the table to read it. Since the accident he had been trying to spend as little time in his bedroom as possible because he feared he would fall back into his old habits if he was in there for too long. He felt that he was starting to get back to his old self but some where deep inside he knew that he would never be the same man again, this year had changed him and there was no denying it. He heard the pot buzz so he hobbled over to the counter with one crutch and poured himself a cup and took a sip, "it would be so much better with some baileys," he thought but quickly ignored his urge knowing that one sip of alcohol would send him slipping back into his previous routine and he promised Haley and Nathan that he would stop. He sat down again and flipped open the paper to the sports page and scanned the stats and saw Nathan's name there for top scorer in his game the previous night. Nathan was playing for a semi pro team in the city and was doing everything in his power to get called up to the pro's and finally make his dream come true. Lucas had once had the same dream but since it was not a possibility any more due to his heart condition he took to coaching instead. He wondered if he would ever be able to get his coaching job back but doubted it as he thought of the way he acted. To make things worse his publishing company was pushing for his next novel but he had no inspiration to write one he had been trying for weeks now but would only write a few words before realizing they were stupid and deleting them.

"So thanks for standing me up," a voice said causing Lucas to look up from his paper.

"Oh Nate I'm sorry I forgot," Lucas said as Nathan sat down in the chair across the table from him.

Lucas and Nathan had plans to head to the river court this morning but Lucas had totally forgotten about it and was way to tired to even think about leaving the house since he had laid awake most of the night frustrated about not being able to be inspired for his novel.

"Its okay," Nathan said pulling the paper away from Lucas," hey look there I am, I have a good feeling about that game Luke I feel it might be the one that gets me scouted."

"That's great," Lucas smiled

"So how are you doing anyways," Nathan said his tone laced with concern," me and Haley were expecting to see more of you now but you are still holding up in here alone."

Lucas knew that Nathan and Haley worried about him and he really couldn't blame them, he hadn't been very social over the last little while, but he just didn't feel like pretending that he was happy when he really wasn't.

"Sorry man I'm just under a lot of pressure from my publishing company to start writing a new novel and I'm having trouble with it," Lucas confessed," I thought if I locked myself inside I would get forced into some great moment of clarity and write something great but no such luck."

"You'll get there," Nathan nodded," But the world is waiting out there for you when you are ready."

Lucas smiled and nodded

"I know," he said

"Well I have to get back home, Haley is letting Jamie help her with breakfast so god only knows what I am in store for back at home," Nathan said with a laugh as he got up and patted Lucas on the shoulder.

"Well good luck with that one," Lucas laughed

"You too," Nathan said pointing to the laptop at the end of the table before walking out of the house.

Lucas slid the laptop over, opened it and opened his word processor. He closed his eyes a minute and tried to force himself into some sort of idea but nothing was coming so he gave up again. He sat there for a half hour staring at a blank white page before realizing it was a lost cause and opened his photo's folder instead. He scanned the small thumbnails until he found the one he was looking for and clicked on it to enlarge it. It was a photo of him and Peyton from Nathan and Haley's wedding, it was a candid shot of them sitting at a table and laughing and he loved it because he felt it captured the effortlessness of their relationship. The fact was that they weren't even together when the picture was taken he was still with Brooke at the time but no matter who the other one was with they had always looked like a couple and made the most sense that way. He quickly closed the laptop after a few minutes and went back to reading his paper.

Across town Brooke had just gotten out of the shower and decided it was time to wake Peyton up, but was surprised to find her not in bed when she walked into her room. Peyton had gotten up a couple hours ago because she couldn't sleep and decided to just start getting ready. Brooke sat on the bed and waited for Peyton to emerge from the bathroom and was surprised when she did.

"Wow you look great," Brooke said a little stunned

"Is it really that much of a surprise," Peyton said raising her eyebrow

Brooke had just not seen her look so much like herself in ages and it was great to see. And on top of that she looked genuinely happy with a wide smile on her face, which was something that was a rare occurrence from the Peyton she knew in LA.

"No its not that," Brooke laughed," Its just you look…well like you."

Peyton took another look in the mirror and smiled knowing what Brooke meant, she really did look like herself again with her loose curls and light makeup, she even looked well rested for the first time she could remember since she found out about being sick.

"Well thanks anyways," Peyton jokingly glared

"You look happy," Brooke pointed out

"I am," Peyton said as she smiled," Thank you for coming home with me it feels good to be here again with you."

"No thank you I am so happy to be here with you too," Brooke said

Peyton smiled at her and Brooke got up and hugged her. It was the first happy hug the two had shared in forever so they held tight for a couple minutes soaking up the moment before parting.

"So you ready to rock some peoples worlds," Brooke joked

"Never been more ready," Peyton said following her out of the room.

Haley was cleaning up breakfast while Nathan and Jamie were outside playing basketball. She paused a moment to look out the window at her two favorite men and think of how happy they made her. Nathan was lifting Jamie up so he could dunk on the net and Haley let out a laugh "he really is his fathers son," she said quietly catching Nathan's eye and winking at him. Haley had secretly hoped that Jamie would take to music so she bought him a guitar to learn on but he wasn't interested he wanted to be just like his dad and she really couldn't blame him Nathan was a great guy. She went to put away the last of the dishes when she heard some rustling on the front steps but assumed it was Lucas since he was still a little clumsy with his crutches so she didn't walk outside. Brooke and Peyton stood in front of the door for a minute before ringing the bell. Peyton was nervous since she hadn't spoken to Nathan or Haley in years and she worried that they would be angry with her for not keeping in touch. Plus she had no idea what Lucas had told them about the break up so she was afraid that they would blame her for the whole thing. Brooke gave her a reassuring look before ringing the doorbell and Peyton grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Haley heard the bell ring and realized it must not be Lucas because he would just walk in so she went to the door and opened it and nearly screamed when she saw who was standing there.

"Peyton…Brooke," she said surprised," What are you guys doing here?"

"Just visiting home," Brooke said glancing at Peyton

"Well come here," Haley said pulling Brooke into a hug," Wow how long has it been."

"Far too long," Brooke responded before pulling away from Haley

Peyton just stood there feeling awkward and thinking maybe she shouldn't have come she felt an overwhelming desire to run back down the steps and return to her room and her memories of Lucas to feel safe again. But then Haley looked in her direction and wore a smile and a look of disbelief at the same time.

"Peyton wow its good to see you," she said as she motioned for Peyton to some give her a hug too.

"Its good to see you too Hales," Peyton happily said walking over to give her a big hug," I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Peyton," Haley replied," Now come in we have so much to catch up on and I have someone I want you to meet."

Brooke and Peyton followed Haley into the house and out into the back yard where they saw a little boy holding a basketball. Peyton's jaw dropped as she realized how big Jamie had gotten, she hadn't seen him since he was a baby. Haley walked over to him and took his hand walking him over to where the girls were standing.

"Jamie honey this is Brooke and Peyton," Haley said with a smile adding," My best friends."

Jamie looked a little scared but then he looked up and recognized the two faces before him.

"They were cheerleaders! They cheered for dad," he remembered

Brooke and Peyton laughed and nodded at the boy

"Hi Jamie I'm Peyton," she said bending down to his level and extending her hand for him to shake but he reached out and gave her a hug instead.

"I'm Brooke Jamie," Brooke said bending down as well and accepting a hug from Jamie as well.

"He loves the picture of us from the state championship game that's in the living room, its where he recognizes you from," Haley said with a laugh," We tried to fill him in a bit about you guys so he felt like he knew you too."

"You used to be daddy's favorite before mommy was," Jamie said pointing to Peyton

"Well I guess you could say that," Peyton said as all three girls laughed," Speaking of your dad where is he?"

"Ya he was just here a minute ago where did he go," Haley questioned.

"The ball is flat so he went to get a pump to pump it back up," Jamie replied with a smile.

"Well why don't we all head inside and wait for him?" Haley said

All four of them started inside and settled in the living room to wait for Nathan to return. Jamie walked over to the fireplace and picked up a framed photo and carried it over sitting between Brooke and Peyton on the couch.

"See there you are, you cheered for dad and uncle Lucas," Jamie said

Peyton's stomach dropped at the mention of his name and her jaw dropped a little bit. Haley looked over to see her reaction but wasn't surprised by it as she knew that no matter what either one said neither Peyton nor Lucas would ever stop loving the other. Peyton felt tears forming in her eyes as she thought about the state championship game; it was the best night of her life as it was the night that Lucas realized that he wanted to be with her. She remembered it vividly and she could still see him walking over to her through the crowd of celebration to tell her that it was her that he wanted next to him when his dreams came true, to this day confetti still made her heart race.

"Ya we sure did," Brooke said to Jamie seeing that Peyton was having a moment

"That was a great day Jamie," Peyton finally said," Do you know where you were that day?"

"I was in momma's tummy," he said confidently looking at Haley.

"That's right," Haley said

All three laughed and Haley heard the back gate open and knowing Nathan was home she got up and walked over to the door and went outside.

"So you will never guess who is here," She said excitedly

He just smiled at her thinking it was Lucas because she had been complaining all week that he never came around anymore but when he walked through the door he wore a look of shock similar to the one that Haley had when she saw them. Brooke and Peyton got up and walked over to him and smiled putting their arms around each other.

"Second and third best nights of your life just walked back into your world," Brooke said making everyone laugh

"Come here," Peyton said hugging Nathan who afterwards hugged Brooke as well.

"Wow you guys are home this is great," he said

"Ya and they are staying for dinner since we have so much to catch up on," Haley said looking at the two of them.

"Sure why not considering that neither of us can cook it will be a nice change from the toast and frozen foods we have been living off of for the past little while," Brooke confessed giving Peyton a small nudge in the ribs

"Hey you said you liked my cooking," Peyton faked a frown

"Well honey I lied," Brooke said making them laugh

"Okay well I promised Jamie that I would take him to the river court so I'll take him now so you can catch up alone," Nathan said looking at Haley for approval.

"Sure if you can tear him away from these girls," Haley said with a laugh as she noticed that Jamie had wandered over to where they were standing and was standing in between Brooke and Peyton.

"Okay Jamie we are going to go to the park so mommy can catch up with old friends but they will be staying for dinner so they will be here when we get back," Nathan said as he picked Jamie up and slung him over his should her and bent down to kiss Haley goodbye.

"Okay dad, Bye momma, Peyton and Brooke," He said as Nathan carried him out the door.

"Okay come sit down again I want to hear everything about LA and New York," Haley said.

The three of them went back into the living room and sat down

"Well actually I'm living in LA with Peyton now," Brooke said

"Really? But I thought clothes over bro's head office was in New York?" Haley questioned

"It is," Brooke replied

"Then why would you move to LA?" Haley asked feeling her curiosity taking over, which was just make stronger by the way the two of them looked at each other, actually the looks on their faces were making her a little worried," Its everything okay?"

"Ya everything is fine," Peyton said shooting Brooke a silencing look," We just missed each other is all."

"Oh I see," Haley said not really believing what Peyton had said as she looked at Brooke for answers but Brooke just looked back at her like she was in some sort of torture so Haley decided that she should drop it for now," So what else is new,"

The girls talked for a couple of hours about everything that was happening in their lives, well except for the cancer of course. Brooke told Haley about her new line that she was excited for and how she was thinking of doing a children's line called baby Brooke. Peyton filled Haley in on her promotion to A and R rep but left out the part where she had to quit when she started treatment she then asked Haley if she was still making music. Haley told them how busy she was with being a mom and teaching at the high school and how she didn't have time right now for music but told Peyton that when she was ready she would be the first to know. Peyton looked at her watch and saw that it was three o'clock and remembered that it was time to take one of her pills so she excused herself to the bathroom and frantically searched her purse realizing that she had left them back at her place. So she put on a calm face and walked back into the living room where Brooke and Haley were talking about her new teaching job.

"Um I have to go you guys, I forgot something at home," Peyton said looking at Brooke for help," But I'll be back for dinner."

"Okay," Haley said feeling a little confused

"Do you want me to come?" Brooke started but was cut off by Peyton

"No its okay, It wont take long you should stay and catch up I'll be back as soon as I can," Peyton said before rushing out the door and down the steps.

Haley looked at Brooke who once again had the look of torture on her face and this time she couldn't hold back her curiosity anymore.

"So are you going to tell me what is going on or do I have to guess?" Haley asked

"I don't know what you are talking about," Brooke said

"Brooke come on I'm a mom and teacher, I can tell when someone is lying to me," Haley said

Brooke stopped for a minute trying to think of something to say but just really wanted to tell Haley everything so she would have someone to talk to about it but she had promised Peyton that she wouldn't say anything.

"Its nothing," she tried to reassure Haley but saw it wasn't working

"Well first you guys show up here with no notice, then you wont tell me why you moved to LA, then Peyton runs out saying she forgot something at home and you continue to wear this look of pure anguish on your face," Haley pointed out," Something is obviously going on here."

"Okay but you have to promise not to say anything to anyone especially not Peyton because she will kill me if she knows I told you," Brooke said seriously

"I wont I promise but your kind of scaring me Brooke," Haley said now worried.

"Peyton has cancer," Brooke said as she felt more tears forming

"What," Haley managed to get out feeling the same as Brooke

"That's not even the worst of it," Brooke started," She has stopped treatment they say she has 12 months, that's why we came back home."

Haley looked away for a minute and shook her head as she ran what she had just heard through her head. Her and Peyton had grown apart as of late but she was still shocked that she didn't want her to know about something so serious.

"Why didn't she tell us?" Haley asked

"She just wasn't ready," Brooke told her," And she wasn't sure how you guys felt about her since you had grown so far apart."

"How could she not tell us," Haley said now slightly hurt.

"Well its not really the easiest conversation to have with people that you hadn't talked to in ages," Brooke defended Peyton's decision.

"I guess so," Haley said but then thought of something," Wait a minute, does Lucas know?"

"No I don't think so not yet anyways," Brooke said

"Well if he isn't dying already this will surely kill him," Haley proclaimed

"What are you talking about?" Brooke questioned.

Haley told Brooke about everything that had happened with Lucas and Lindsey over the last year and about Lucas's drinking and accident. She told her how he was still in love with Peyton and how he was angry with himself for being still in love with her. Brooke just shook her head knowing that Peyton felt the exact same way.

"Well maybe this is for the best, maybe he will convince her to start her treatment again," Brooke said trying to be optimistic

"Ya or maybe the news might send him off the cliff again," Haley said worried," We have to tell him."

"No we can't!" Brooke yelled," She will kill me! Plus she will tell him soon I know it, she has never been able to hide things from Lucas."

Haley knew that Brooke was right but she was still worried about how he would react when he found out.

"Okay I will keep quiet," Haley started and saw Brooke's worry turn to relief," But if she doesn't tell him I will have to eventually."

"I know," Brooke said

"Well I suppose I should start on dinner," Haley said," Though it all seems a little anticlimactic after this news."

"I know Haley, but I'm just glad someone else knows," Brooke began to well," It has been hard carrying this around by myself."

"Ya I bet," Haley said pulling Brooke into a hug

Once they parted they made their way into the kitchen and started on dinner and continued talking about Peyton and tried to think of ways to convince her to resume her treatment and stay in Tree Hill.


	5. Vindicated

**Okay once again sorry for taking so long to update but this one is longer so I hope you enjoy it, its mainly LP centered as they finally run into one another. Please review :)**

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**Vindicated**

Lucas had been so frustrated with his lack of inspiration that he nearly threw his laptop across the room. It was then that he decided he needed to get out of the house to clear his head and to gain some perspective. So he grabbed his crutches and began gravitating to the only place that had ever made sense to him, the place that he could always go to when the world was making things difficult. He walked the familiar path and saw the court in the distance soon enough his attention turned to something else. His head snapped around and looked down the road trying to tell if what he saw was really there or if it was only in his head. Out of the corner of his eye he could have sworn he saw the car, her car driving down Main Street but now as he craned his neck he could see no traces of it anywhere. "Wow" he said to himself as he thought of how vivid his imagination was becoming because this time he could have sworn he saw her driving it her curls waving in the wind bobbing her head to the music as she always did. He was feeling weak now just thinking about it so he continued on his way praying that the river court would bring him some solace. When he reached the court he hobbled his way into the middle of the pavement and stopped gazing down at the signatures that they had all written on there the after graduation. They were faded now but he could still make out her name written in her swirly writing with his name beneath it. He smiled when he thought of that night; it was her last night in Tree Hill before going to LA with Brooke for her internship. She had sat with him by the river sitting on a bench and looked him in the eyes telling him that she would love him forever no matter what. He shook his head remembering how much he wanted her to stay but of course he told her to go but now he wished with all his heart that he asked her to stay with him. Things were never the same after that night, LA changed her and that was the beginning of the end the beginning of the long distance relationship that lead to the ambush proposal and ultimately their demise. The memories being too much for him he made his way over to the bleachers and took a seat breathing in the familiar air as more memories flooded back to him.

Peyton had rushed home to get take her pills and now felt embarrassed about running out of Haley's like that. If she didn't know something was up before she would surely think something was going on now so she decided to take a little detour before going back for dinner. She climbed back into her car and decided to take a drive down town and take in the town she used to call home. As she drove she saw several people she recognized but just gave them a nod or wave not stopping to talk because she didn't really feel like striking up conversations. She passed the record store that she had spent the better half of her life in sifting through new music and discovering the soundtrack to her life. The next place she passed was a place that made her heart swell Karen's café, Lucas's moms small little café that had some of the best food she had tasted in her life. She slowed down a bit and saw Karen was inside laughing with a customer and Peyton had a sudden urge to go in and say hi. Karen had been like a mother to Peyton through some of the worst times in her life but she wasn't sure how she felt now since Lucas and her broke up so Peyton decided to not go in. She smiled as she looked around the town inhaling the memories of her and Brooke being stupid kids and of young love. When she left Tree Hill four years ago she was so happy to get away from a town that held awful memories for her of her moms death, bullet wounds and stalkers, but now that she was back all she could see were the good memories flashing in her mind. When she got to the end of the street she had a sudden urge to go to another place that held a lot of memories for her so she continued down the road then turned her car off the street heading towards the court. She pulled her car almost all the way to the court and got out stepping on to the grass that was shaggy and much more un kept than she remembered. She stepped onto the court and walked straight to the middle wondering if they were still there. She looked down and felt relieved that the signatures were still there. This place had always felt like Lucas to her, it was where he changed her world by beating Nathan at one on one to join the team and she felt comforted being in a place that was so close to him.

Lucas had left for a minute to run and grab a bottle of water from a nearby store but was quick on his way back to the court but he wasn't ready for what he saw when he walked down over the small hill. It was the car, sitting near the court empty, he scanned the area in search of someone anyone who could have brought the car here.

"Okay I must really be going crazy," Lucas said to himself as he walked over to the car assuming it was another mirage but he hesitantly reached out to touch it and saw it was real.

His heart began to jump, it had been a long time since he had seen it and now here it was sitting in front of him begging him to get inside, lay in the back seat and remember her. He scanned the area again for Larry wondering where he was and why he was driving her car, he usually never did it normally just sat in the garage hoping for her return but when he couldn't see him he walked around the perimeter of the car just taking in the sight of something he had missed greatly. His back was turned when she walked up from the river, she had went down there to see if the initials they had carved were still on one of the wooden picnic tables and it was still there "Lucas and Peyton TLA" words that meant more to her than anything ever written, well anything but his book anyways. When she made it above the small hill and saw him standing back on to her looking at her car she nearly screamed. She wasn't ready to see him not yet anyways so she slowed her pace a little deciding if it would be best to not let her presence be known. Her stomach was lurching and begging her to just walk over and talk to him so she smoothed out some of her curls fixed her shirt and began making her way over to him.

"Hey," she said hesitantly when she neared him

He heard the voice, the voice of an angel, the voice that had always sent shivers down his spine. She noticed him tense and wondered if he was still upset with her about everything that had happened with them in the past. Really he was standing still trying to gain the courage to turn around and see if the voice was real or if it was all in his head. After a minute he finally turned and saw her standing there overtop their signatures her hair blowing softly in the wind. He tried to mask his surprise and sheer happiness though he was pretty sure she could tell when he saw the hesitant look on her face fall away and a small smile take its place. He stood idle for a minute just taking in the sight of her thinking that it was like something out of a dream.

"Hi," he said with a shaky voice after a minute

"How long has it been?" she asked

"Two years," he replied as she walked over to him standing a few feet away.

She looked him up and down noticing that he had a large cast on one leg and was covered in scratches. Her instinct was to hug him and nurse him back to health from whatever accident he had obviously been in. He was the same man she once knew but was a little rougher now, his cheek was lined with a little stubble and his body seemed harder than it was before. The one thing that went on changed was his big blue eyes that had always been able to peer into her soul, which was exactly what they were doing right now.

"How have you been," Peyton questioned looking down at his leg.

"I've been better," he replied honestly as he shuffled on his crutches to stand more comfortably.

Then she couldn't hold back any longer she moved towards him and pulled him into a hug. He was taken of guard but when he felt her body pressed against him again he reviled in the fact that the sensation had not changed in all the years they had been apart. It took a moment but soon he lifted his arms and pulled her in tighter. He breathed in her scent and realized she smelt the exact same as he remembered. When they parted he wore a smile for the first time in what felt like in forever, a smile had become so foreign to him that it actually felt strange to have one on his face.

"God Luke I've missed you?" she let out

"Likewise Peyt," he confessed though he really just wanted to spill his heart and tell her all the things he had been feeling over the past little while but he had no idea where her head or heart was since they hadn't spoken in two years.

"So," she said slowly," why is this so awkward,"

They both laughed and Lucas just shook his head at her.

"Well that tends to happen when you haven't talked to someone in years," he laughed

"Do you want to go for a ride and catch up?" she asked hopefully

His heart was racing at the thought if riding with her in the car again and he nodded quickly.

"Of course," he said.

She walked around to the driver's side and climbed inside as he threw his crutches in the back and climbed into the passenger seat beside her. She pulled out of the court and turned back onto the street.

"So anywhere you want to go?" she asked

"How about the café? We can get coffee like old times?" he said but knew it wouldn't be like old times because she was no longer his.

"Um," she said hesitantly," Are you sure that's a good idea?"

He looked at her trying to figure out what she meant but then realized she must be worried about his mom's reaction to her return.

"Peyton don't worry about it," he started," She misses you too, you have no idea how many times she has asked me what you were up to,"

A smile crept back over Peyton's face and she quickly pulled into an open space in front of the café now excited to see Karen. She got out and grabbed Lucas's crutches carrying them around to his door and handing them to him helping him up. He smiled at her and accepted her hand taking the crutches with his other and swinging them under his arm. He lead the way inside, she was still a little nervous despite him reassuring her so she walked silently behind him allowing him to shield her just in case the reaction of her presence wasn't a good one. When the door jingled Karen looked up and was about to greet the new customer until she saw it was Lucas. She smiled motioned for him to come over to the counter. Karen was happy that Lucas was out of the house; she had rarely seen him since Lindsey had left and after the accident she had spent most of her time worrying about him. But something was different today he seemed lighter and he was smiling a real genuine smile something he hadn't donned lately.

"Hi mom," he said

"Lucas come sit down I'll get you a coffee," she said smiling when she saw that the twinkle was back in his eyes.

"Wait mom I have someone here that wants to see you," he said with a smile stepping a little to the side so Peyton came into Karen's sight.

Peyton stood there a little scared of Karen's reaction as she nervously tucked a curl behind her ear. Karen was frozen in place almost like Lucas had been earlier, she nearly dropped the coffee pot that she was holding but managed to lay it back on the counter before she ran around and pulled Peyton into a long embrace. Peyton wrapped her arms around Karen and tried unsuccessfully to hold back the tears.

"Its so good to see you," Karen said handing Peyton a Kleenex and frowning slightly when she saw the tears

"Don't worry they are happy tears," Peyton said with a laugh making Karen smile," I've just missed you…both of you," she looked at Lucas who's heart was still swelling.

"We have missed you too," Karen said with a smile," Why don't you two go and take a seat and I'll bring you some coffee I'm sure you have a lot of catching up to do," she winked at Lucas as Peyton walked past and he just shook his head and followed her over to a table by the window.

They took their seats and made small talk until Karen brought them each a coffee and a piece of Peyton's favorite coffee cake. Both wanted to learn more about the others life but weren't sure if they were ready to put everything out on display.

"So you still love coffee cake eh?" Lucas smiled over his coffee cup as Peyton engulfed another large piece of the cake in front of her.

"Only your moms," Peyton replied pushing her empty plate back

"So how have you been Peyt," he said slowly," I feel like I don't know anything about your life,"

Her heart stopped as she felt his gaze on her, how was she? There was no way to answer that question without either telling him the truth that she was not ready to tell or by lying, which was something she had never been able to do with Lucas, she took another sip of her coffee while she pondered how best to attack the question as he saw the hesitation in her eyes.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to," he said sincerely

"No its okay," she started," I've been good lately and I'm happy to be home the hustle of LA was getting to be a bit much, but I did finally get promoted to A and R rep for Sire and I've gotten to sign a couple great bands,"

Lucas smiled at her seeing that LA hadn't changed her as much as he thought it would and he knew that it was her dream to be an A and R rep it was the main reason she had turned down his proposal because she wasn't ready to give up on her dream.

"That's great Peyton," he said waiting for her to ask him the same question he asked before but like her not sure how he would answer it.

"How about you?" She asked

"Well I'm coaching the Ravens and trying to write my second novel," he said but added," Not having much luck at either right now though."

She looked at him with sympathetic eyes

"Don't worry Lucas I'm sure whatever funk you are in you'll pull out of soon," she said

He looked deep into her bright green orbs and for the first time actually believed those words, he suddenly believed that he would be able to turn his life back around.

"Thanks Peyton," he said sincerely," it means a lot."

She nodded and tried to think of a way to ask the question she wanted to without it coming out wrong.

"So when do I get to meet her?"

"What? Meet who?" Lucas said now confused

"Your girlfriend silly who else?" Peyton responded," I read in a magazine a while back that you were dating your editor from Ravens, my dad told me she was quite nice,"

Peyton was putting on a brave face for this issue, the truth was it would probably kill her to meet the new love of Lucas's life but she owed it to him to give her a chance because Peyton knew it was her own fault that her and Lucas didn't work out and he deserves to be happy even if its not with her. Lucas didn't know how to answer this question without bearing his soul to the blonde and honestly he hadn't thought about Lindsey in months so he was a little startled when she brought her up.

"Oh well we're actually not together anymore," Lucas said

"Luke I'm sorry," she lied but sent him a sympathetic look," What happened?"

"It just wasn't working," he replied though he wanted to just scream out that he had never stopped loving her and that no one else could compare," You really weren't exaggerating when you said that you hadn't talked to anyone from around here in years were you."

She just laughed and shook her head feeling slightly relieved that she wouldn't have to under go the torturous task of meeting Lucas's girlfriend, just the thought of it alone was tearing her heart out.

"So," Lucas started asking a question he wasn't sure if he wanted the answer to," Are you seeing anyone?"

"No," she answered quickly," I mean I go on dates but haven't found anyone special." Well really she hadn't allowed herself to find anyone special because her heart was never in it.

"Dates eh," Lucas said curiously," Booty calls?"

Her eyes shot open and she slapped him across the arm.

"No," she exclaimed," I can't believe you just said that!"

He just smirked at her in the way that had always made her knees weak so she was grateful that they were sitting right now. He really just wanted to get a rise out of her because he knew she was never really the booty call type of girl that was more Brooke, Peyton always fell and when she fell it was always hard she was never able to abide by the no strings policy required for friends with benefits.

"Well you never know LA is a fast city," he smirked some more," It can change a person Sawyer."

"Well Scott for your information I haven't changed," she said as she put her hands on her hips and shot him a quick glare.

He saw that she hadn't changed and it was making it harder for him to not want her. It would have been easier if she would have come back changed into this terrible bitter big city person but she hadn't she was still the same sweet, insecure, beautiful girl she was when she left.

"I can see that," he said shooting her a meaningful look

She saw him for a split second look at her in the way that he used to with the fire in his eyes. But she decided that it was all in her head, there was no way that after all this time and all she had put him through that he could still love her it was inconceivable.

"You've changed a little," she admitted

"Oh really, how so?" he said with a squint curious to hear her answer

"Its not a bad change," she insisted," Your still the same but just more grown up more mature. Its like I can still see the boy inside you but it's mixed in now with a more mature man."

He nodded and puffed out his chest at her

"Yep more of a man for sure," he said with a laugh," But I was under the impression that I was always a man I mean I saved your scrawny butt on several occasions."

"That's not what I meant," she said with a laugh," And yes you were always very burly and I do realize that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you and your heroic antics, it was like you could always save me from anything."

"Well thank you I feel much better now," he joked but added seriously," I would save you from anything if you needed me…you know that right no matter how far we grow apart I'll always be there to rescue you if it comes to it."

She smiled and tried to fight back the tears that she felt coming. All Peyton wanted to do was tell him everything that was going on with her and tell him that there were things that even he couldn't save her from but instead she just nodded silently.

"I know Luke and the same goes for you," she said quietly," I'm always here if you need something no matter what."

He felt an uncontrollable desire to just tell her everything that had happened with Lindsey and explain to her that she was all he needed but decided against it knowing that she no longer had feelings for him after the way he ended things there was no way she would even look twice at him again.

"Thanks Peyton," he replied.

"So what are you doing tonight?" She asked trying to lighten the mood

"Nothing really, probably sitting in front of my computer and staring at it with a blank stare hoping I will somehow acquire some inspiration for this new book," he said honestly.

"Well Haley invited me and Brooke over for dinner tonight to catch up, do you want to come?" she said but when he didn't answer for a minute she added," Well unless of course the staring at a computer screen seems like a more enjoyable evening than our company?"

"Not its not that," he was worried that if he went to dinner at Haley's she would spill some of the details of his recent life that he wasn't able to tell Peyton yet, but honestly the chance to spend the rest of the evening with her was far to enticing a thought to turn down," Ya that actually sounds great."

"Okay cool," she said," We should probably get going then do you want to just ride there with me or do you want to go home and get your own car?"

He thought about it a minute and knew that he probably should drive himself. But he knew if she drove him to Haley's she would have to drive him home as well and that would mean a little more time with her. It was like he could breathe again now that she was here he felt comfortable in his own skin again and wanted to hold on to that feeling for as long as he could.

"Well if you don't mind dropping me off after I'll just go with you now?" he asked

"Ya sure no problem," she replied with a smile happy to spend as much time in his presence as possible as he had always made her feel safe and now more than ever she needed to feel safe," Okay well lets say goodbye to your mom and then head out."

They got up and walked over to the counter where Karen was placing a plate in front of a customer. They said there goodbyes and Peyton promised to come back another day so she could fill her in on what has been going on for the last couple years and they both gave Karen a hug goodbye before leaving the café. Once outside Lucas made a stupid joke that made Peyton laugh as they hopped in her car and she slapped him lightly across the arm. Karen was looking out the window at the two of them and it was like she was looking back in time. In the years Lucas had been seeing Lindsey she had never seen him look at her the way he was now looking at this curly blonde and Karen knew her son very well. Not only that he actually looked happy for the first time in what seemed like forever, Karen said a silent thank you to whatever forces brought Peyton home because she had brought her son back to her, little did Karen know that the forces that brought Peyton home would eventually take her away as well.

Peyton and Lucas eventually arrived at Nathan and Haley's and made their way up to the door, Peyton went to ring the doorbell again not feeling right to just walk in but Lucas grabbed her hand to stop her. She froze at the sudden contact he had made and it was like her whole body was on fire.

"There is no need to ring the doorbell here blondie," Lucas said with a laugh dropping her hand once he realized he had been holding it for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"If you say so," she said as she opened the door and walked inside," Haley?"

"In the dining room," Haley yelled from the other room

Lucas and Peyton kicked off their shoes and walked into the dining room to see that everyone was already there seated and waiting. Nathan jabbed Haley to look up from setting the table to see who was standing in the doorway with Peyton. When Haley looked up she wasn't able to hide her surprise to see her broody best friend standing in the doorway looking not so broody for the first time in months.

"Lucas you're joining us?" Haley said not hiding her shock

"Well we ran into each other earlier and I asked him if he wanted to come, I hope that's okay?" Peyton asked feeling slightly confused at Haley and Nathan's reaction to Lucas coming to dinner. They had been best friends for years so why were they so shocked to see him in their house?

"No of course its okay," Haley said," I'm just surprised is all its been a while."

Lucas shot Haley a look that said keep your mouth shut and she could tell by the look on his face that he wanted her to keep quiet. Haley just shook her head and set another place for Lucas as he took a seat next to Peyton never tearing his gaze from her. Haley excused herself from the room into the kitchen to talk to Brooke who was finishing a salad.

"You will never guess who is here," Haley said as she entered the kitchen

"Who?" Brooke asked not looking up from the salad bowl

"Lucas,"

Brooke smirked and then flipped around to face Haley

"Well that didn't take long now did it," Brooke said with a laugh

"And he looks giddy, for the first time in months he looks like Lucas again the Lucas we know and love," Haley said in disbelief.

"Well love has that effect on people Hales," Brooke replied

"But Brooke if they get all caught up in each other and something happens to her I honestly don't think he will survive I don't think he could take it," Haley said her voice laced with concern.

Brooke walked over to her and placed a hand on each of her shoulders

"Peyton wouldn't do that, she knows how he would react," Brooke said but seeing that Haley wasn't convinced she added," I'll talk to her about it tonight okay?"

"Okay," Haley said hesitantly

"It's going to be fine," Brooke reassured her

How is this going to be fine was all that Haley could think. Both of them were going through the hardest times of their lives and both refused to tell the other about it and now they were sitting there pretending that nothing was wrong and were without a doubt eventually going to hurt each other.

"Its just she doesn't want us to tell him about her condition and he doesn't want us to tell her about everything that he is going through," Haley exclaimed," Its going to blow up sooner or later and I hate lying to both of them."

"Hales," Brooke said," Look at me, its Peyton and Lucas it wont be long before they are both pouring out their hearts to one another and maybe each other is what they need to make it through everything."

Haley nodded knowing Brooke was right, if their past taught her anything about Lucas and Peyton it was that they could overcome anything if they were together, on their own they often faltered but together they could take on anything. Brooke seeing that Haley had seemed to calm down grabbed the salad bowl from the counter and started out of the kitchen.

"You ready for this," Brooke asked," I hope the salad doesn't give any one food poisoning, cooking had never bee my strong suit though I could design some kick ass aprons,"

"I'll be sure to tell them to eat at their own risk," Haley said with a laugh as she followed Brooke back into the dining room for what was sure to be an interesting dinner.


End file.
